Restaurant Review #248: My Kitchen Witch (Monmouth Beach, NJ)

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As a lover of the paranormal and all things “witchy”, I was immediately intrigued when I saw a restaurant titled My Kitchen Witch on Google Maps. I was actually looking for something else. I just had to get here, so Justin and I gave it a try two days later. Admittedly, we have developed a love-hate relationship with primarily breakfast places. Every once in a while, one of them ends up doing something special, but most unfortunately charge high prices for “gourmet” items in which things are done with ingredients that never should be. What would the case be here? Well, given it had a witch theme, that itself immediately made the place stand out. We just finished binge-watching the second season of the new Netflix series Sabrina, so we were certainly in the mood.

There are good vibes when first walking in. The dining area is tiny, with maybe eight or 10 tables. There is witch decor everywhere, from the tables being custom-painted with images such as a black cat or witch’s hat, to a broomstick hanging from the ceiling. Such a kitschy display usually goes one of two ways: it either works to advance the restaurant’s theme, or it becomes a tacky assemblage of dust-collectors. Fortunately, for My Kitchen Witch, it is cute and helps set up a charming, almost whimsical atmosphere. The dining area and its accouterments were remarkably clean.

If the witches everywhere don’t help put you in the proper mindset, the menu will. There are three pages. The first is for juices, smoothies, and additional beverages. The fresh-squeezed juices come with descriptions to tell you what they are good for, such as a blend of beet, carrot, apple, celery, and lemon for liver cleansing. Are these just smoothies, or should I say magic potions? There is then a page for breakfast and another for lunch, featuring you guessed it, “sand-witches”. Justin and I were there early on, so even though a “Merlin” grilled cheese with spinach, avocado, and bacon was calling my name, I chose breakfast. Prices for all items were more than fair, especially for the area.

Having heard from a friend about the glory of their homemade pork sausage, I knew I would be ordering something with that. There was a lot to choose from, but I went with the Gulch Scramble, which included eggs, red onion, and the sausage scrambled together. It came with sides of “witch’s potatoes” and a biscuit with strawberry butter. I had coffee as my beverage. Justin, meanwhile, ordered the “Auntie Yum Auntie Yum”, which was an omelette with brie, apple slices, and bacon. His sides were the same as mine, and he also added a side of sausage too. His drink was the fresh-squeezed orange juice, which really was good. They also have the option of Tropicana.

I don’t know where to begin, so I will start with the house sausage. It was delightful. There was just the right amount of spices, and the overall texture was tender and just a little snappy. There was a marked difference between theirs and standard breakfast sausage. It is worth trying even if you are not normally a fan. My scramble was well-executed, with the red onion adding a nice bite. The potatoes were cooked perfectly and the seasoning used was delicious. There were thankfully no green peppers anywhere near it, and the spices (which I believe included paprika) made them more flavorful than the norm. I wish the biscuit was a bit larger, but it was better than having toast. The outside was crunchy, and the interior was fluffy. The homemade strawberry butter (you can actually see bits of strawberry throughout) added additional freshness and complimented the biscuit well. Justin had no complaints about his meal either.

What we both did not expect was the addition of a Mazi Piri Piri hot sauce, which was available to use. I never had this before, but had read many reviews of such hot sauces. Whatever blend My Kitchen Witch uses was one of the best hot sauces I’ve ever had. There was a sharp, spicy bite, but it did not linger for too long. At first, I put it on just the potatoes. Then it ended up on the scramble. It was all over the plate by the time I was finished. The ingredients on the bottle listed tomato puree, piri piri pepper oil, lemon juice, and whiskey (!) among a few others. Almost every table had requested a bottle by my observation. I should have bought some on the way out.

We haven’t had much luck with breakfast places of late, but this one was a homerun. The freshness of ingredients is through the roof. Even without a smoothie, you just feel like you are eating cleaner and healthier. While there is plenty of sausage, bacon, and cheese on the menu, there is also multigrain, a plethora of fruits and vegetables, and some gluten-free and vegan options as well. For now, I am going to give My Kitchen Witch a 3.5 out of 5 stars which is great for a first-time meal of this magnitude. I definitely want to come back for lunch (or their special Friday night three-course dinner). After another experience, the score may go higher. Any restaurant that goes so far as to make their own sausage deserves praise. Give this place a try—they just might cast a spell on you.

My Kitchen Witch is located at 29 Beach Road in Monmouth Beach, NJ. They also feature a market in a separate room with packaged and prepared foods to-go.

3 comments

  1. Great. Now I want the Merlin and need the liver-cleansing juice. I have purchased gift certificates there but have never actually eaten at KW. Will have to give it a try โ€“ especially being so close.

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